My dear reader,

I missed writing a letter for you guys last week. So, let me update you what I’ve been up to. I’ve been having full caffeine detox this month, which has been interesting to observe how being without caffeine has affected my mind and body (more on that another time.)

I’ve been catching up on work admin that has piled up whilst being on sick leave. I’m really focusing on at the moment to catch up and lay foundations to get organised before the Lunar Year hits on Feb 17th.

Also, I got my hair done today.

And before you roll your eyes. No, this is not a new year, new me story.
That narrative is honestly a bit of bullshit.

Every January we’re sold this idea that we need to reinvent ourselves overnight. New habits. New body. New goals. New personality, apparently. As if who we were last year was somehow wrong.

Spoiler: it wasn’t.

I didn’t suddenly become a new person because my hair is a different colour. I didn’t magically fix my life with a haircut.
But I do feel lighter.

There’s something quietly powerful about choosing a moment of release. About saying: this stays, this goes. About doing something small, embodied, kind — not because you “should”, but because you need it.

And that ties into something my therapist said yesterday that stopped me in my tracks:

“You don’t burn out because you work too hard. You burn out because the work isn’t aligned with your values.”

Oof. Right?

That landed deeper than I expected.

Because I can work hard. I like working hard. I care deeply.
But when effort is poured into places that no longer fit — when you keep saying yes out of habit, loyalty, fear, or people-pleasing — something inside starts to quietly drain.

Burnout isn’t always about doing too much.
Sometimes it’s about doing too much of what no longer belongs to you.

I’ve been resisting and scared going back to work fully because things have not felt aligned. I need to focus on what aligns.

That realisation has asked me to slow down more. To reset. To let go of some things — even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it might disappoint others.

My therapist also said this (clearly she was on a roll):

“You have to allow people to be disappointed.”

I don’t love that one.
But I know it’s true.

Because the cost of avoiding other people’s disappointment is often abandoning yourself.

So no, this isn’t a new me era.
It’s more of a coming back to myself one.

Less forcing.
More aligning.
Less people-pleasing.
More choosing, me.

And maybe that’s the real invitation for 2026 and beyond: not to become a new you, but to gently ask:

What actually aligns with me now? What alignments can I follow and pursue that can create a reality where I feel my truest, authentic self?

How does it even feel to be your truest, authentic, self? That is a topic for a whole another letter… but quickly saying when you’re energised and centred and things come off easy, those are signs!

So, if you’re feeling tired, heavy, or quietly resentful, maybe it’s not because you’re failing.
Maybe it’s just time for a realignment.
Or maybe… you can just start with a haircut 😉

With love,
Essi 💛

What’s going on inside our community:

Last Sunday, we hosted our first Connect & Create Club of the year, marking one full year since the club began. We celebrated it in National Gallery.

One of the girls messaged me afterwards and said:

“All the girlies need to know about you guys! 🥰
Literally the kindest and most open I’ve ever met for the first time 🥹🌸
Thank you again, and hopefully I’ll see you guys soon 🥰”

That message stayed with me.

We need more kindness in this world.
We need to meet one another with compassion and open hearts.
Everyone is going through something.
We need to be welcomes, seen and heard for who we are.

That’s why Connected You exists.

We got two events coming up in February. Check them out below:

Let's keep connecting.
Because together is better.

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