“I feel I am on this bridge where my old self is pulling me back to London and the new self and pulling me to stay in Bali,” I said this to my friend the other day.

For days, I’ve felt torn. This is what it’s like to stand on the brink of massive change: you’re split in two, caught between the old self that’s dying and the new one being born.

The greatest transformations come when we face this transition. It’s the death and rebirth phase of the Hero’s Journey—raw, unnerving, and chaotic.

Here in Bali, there’s a saying:
"Mama Bali will either embrace you or spit you out if you’re not ready."

What it means is simple but profound: Bali forces you to face your truth, no matter how messy it is. There’s no escaping her tough love, which pushes you to confront your shadows and release what no longer serves you.

It is raw, real, bringing up the shadows that need to be lit up to be felt and freed.

This past month has been exactly that for me. Some days, I fall in love with Bali; other days, it feels like the hardest experience of my life.

I’ve been shedding old layers, like a snake outgrowing its skin.
What once fit—old clothes, old habits, even my sense of self—feels foreign.

Who is this new version of me?
Who am I after this year and just this last month here on this island?
Who was the Essi who boarded that plane a few months ago?

She’s still part of me, but she’s also fading away as I step into something new.

To honor this process, I’ve decided to stay in Bali until the end of January. I just moved my flight today. (EEEKKKK scary. That is a whole another letter.)

Mama Bali isn’t spitting me out yet—I’m here to embrace this transformation fully.

In my new Youtube series Morning Fika Chats, I’m diving deeper into this journey:

• How to let go of the old you.

• Releasing attachments to make room for change.

• Opening your heart to rebirth and embracing the new you.

^{_{Are you in a season of shedding, letting go, and stepping into the unknown?}}

^{_{TODAY IS THE FINAL DAY FOR MY BIRTHDAY MONTH GIFT FOR YOU.}} 🎁

This is perfect for you if:

• You want clarity on how this year went so you can get excited for 2025.

• You’re navigating big changes and need support

• You’re feeling lost or overwhelmed and desire clarity before years ends.

• You’re feeling stagnant this winter and need a boost of energy and inspiration.

• You desire a change but you feel paralysed to take action.

Today is the final day this offer is on, 10th December—a wholesome gift for yourself or someone you love.

We all navigate change somehow. Dying and rebirthing is scary, hard, raw and vulnerable. You don’t have to do it alone.

I love you. Keep connecting and keep moving.

Heartfully,
Essi