Dear reader,

I was meant to write to you today about all the exciting things coming up at Connected You…

But honestly? I’m just not there.

And that’s part of what Connected You is all about: real talk, getting beyond the small talk, and speaking from the heart.

I'm human, just like you.

And that's exactly how I want to lead this community: from a place of authenticity and equality where we all meet hear to heart on a human to human level.

It feels important to me that leadership comes with authenticity.

I believe the more we have leaders showing realness — the good and the struggle — the more we’ll create spaces where people feel truly seen and safe.
That’s the kind of world I want to help build.

So, today, I’m going to write about something that is not talked about enough: hyper-functioning depression.

I’ve written about different forms of exhaustion and burnout before, which I’d welcome you to read for self-connection, if this resonates.

But what about the kind of depression that hides behind smiles and high achievement?

This has been me as long as I can remember, and this is the first time I speak about this.

To start, you might be wondering: what is high-functioning depression, anyway?

High-functioning depression isn't an official clinical diagnosis, but it describes people who appear to be managing daily life — working, socializing, ticking tasks off their list — while secretly struggling with deep feelings of sadness, emptiness, or emotional exhaustion.

Because we’re still "functioning," our depression often goes unnoticed, even by ourselves.

Some common signs:

• Constant fatigue even when you seem "productive"

• Feeling numb or disconnected from joy

• Bingeing on TV, tech, or mindless scrolling

• Rushing through meals or self-care activities

• Overcommitting and struggling to say no

• "Crashing" when finally alone

• Smiling outside but feeling empty inside

Today, I listened to a powerful podcast conversation between Ed Mylett and Psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph, where they discussed this and her book “High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim your Joy.”

A key symptom of high-functioning depression is anhedonia:
the loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy.
It’s like the world has turned grey, but you’re still running through the motions.

It’s a quiet, hidden kind of suffering, but it’s very real.

Dr. Judith Joseph shared a simple but powerful framework she calls the 5 V’s to heal high functioning depression, and I wanted to pass it on to you:

Step 1: Validate
Accept how you're feeling.
"I'm exhausted. I'm depressed."
Science shows that when we can name our emotions, it actually lessens anxiety. Naming emotions is powerful.

Step 2: Vent
Find a way to express your feelings, whether through prayer, crying, journaling, or talking to someone. (And yes, sometimes this can feel the hardest as often you feel you don’t want to be a burden as you’re usually the one helping others!)

Step 3: Values
Tap into your core values daily. When you’re connected to your values, you’re aligned.
Dr. Judith says values are “the things that are priceless, that have no price tag.”

Step 4: Vitals
Check how you're nourishing your body, mind & soul with the basics of nutrition, sleep, movement, but also Dr. Judith highlighted these are important to add in todays’ world:

• How’s your relationship with tech?

• Your work-life balance?

• Your connection with others?
  (This is most linked to your long-term health.)

5. Vision
Plan a life vision filled with joy and pursue joy.
Dr. Joseph said something that really stuck with me:

“Happiness is an idea. Joy is the experience of it.”

So, the question is: How can you plan moments of joy into your days?

We need to prioritize joy as a compass linked to our core values.

I wanted to share this with you today because if you're feeling the weight behind the smiles, I want you to know that you’re not alone. There can be so much shame around talking about our ill mental health only way to counteract is to talk about it.

So, here I am, functioning, as you can see, I still manage to write this letter on a day when the symptoms are stronger than usual.

But remember what was the 2nd step? Vent. And writing to you guys always helps me. It really does. And calling with my best friend after this will help even more.

Never stay alone in your struggle. Follow the 5 V’s.

And sometimes, just naming it, feeling it, and being real with it… is where healing begins.

I'll be back next week with more real talk and updates!
But for today, this felt more important.

If this resonates, reach out for help. You can schedule a connection call with me here, and let’s talk! Or reach out to another coach, a counsellor or a trusted loved one.

Highly-functioning depression is all around us. It can hide behind smiles. So here’s a one thing you can do today: check on your smiling, strong friends!

Keep connecting and keep moving.

With love,
Essi