Dear reader,

I’m coming into your inbox quite late. I know…

Why?

The truth? Depressi has been around today, Depressi is that part of me who feels heavily depressed at times. Today was one of those days.

I did nail a big task first thing in the morning by doing some getting real with myself admin. You know, the kind of admin where you look at something in your life which you have been avoiding but you know you need to face it to change it?

Yup, that. More on that another time…

I did do it, but it took all out of me.

So, I ended up sleeping all afternoon, missed a meeting… meh.

I could be hard on myself, but I choose kindness instead and I decided to hop on here to be honest through words.

Today made me think about this clip I’ve seen from Jim Carrey:

In this video, Jim Carrey mentions Jeff Foster who said to him when you think of a word “depressed,” we should think of it as “deep rest.” Carrey mentions that we get sad due to happenstance but depression comes when the character we live in just doesn’t fit anymore.

It’s like your body needs to be depressed, to be in deep rest from the character you’ve been living as, which doesn’t serve you anymore.

I feel that.

I feel like the workaholic avatar that I lived as for over 11 years is now done.
Burning out twice took it for me to wake the hell up.

Two months ago, I paused my work and took time off.
I decided that things needed to change.
I moved out of London to Milton Keynes after 6.5 years there. BIG MOVE.

And here I am now, trying to make sense of it all.
Being in the blessing of starting fresh, but no clue where to start.
Scared to get back into it, thinking: “what if the old habits sneak in?”

So, I curled up on a couch and I slept all afternoon, escaping it all, but damn that was hell of a good nap.

I needed it.

I have learned to allow myself to rest during this break and not feel guilty for it.
The body asks for what we need.

So, if you feel depressed, low mood, it might be a sign you need deep rest from something, too.

This is just your body communicating you something.

It is communicating something is not right. There is something you’re avoiding, denying, holding onto or you’re wearing a mask that simply screams to come off.

What are you perhaps avoiding that you need to face?
What truth are you denying or trying to escape?
What are you holding onto that no longer serves you?
What mask are you wearing that doesn’t fit?

Feeling depressed is often a sign some of these might be present.

See, my hope for 2026 is that this will be a year where you come back home to your authentic, heartful self.

It starts by getting real with yourself and facing what you’ve avoided, denied or been holding onto but you’ve probably known for awhile just doesn’t work anymore.

I hope this email can be the wake up call you need.
Change can start by answering those questions above and then facing head on what you need to.

January is still in the year of the snake. Finish the unfinished business. Face the truths you’ve been avoiding or denying.

You will thank me later.

Even from the depressed = deep rest, we rise again.

Be kind to yourself.

With lots of love,
Essi

PS: Here’s a little pick-me-up song for you that really serves me at the moment.

Listening to this song “From Now On” from one of my favorite musicals The Greatest Showman. I swear if you listen to it you can’t help but start tapping your feet and smile. Gamechanger on a low mood day. I just listened to it in the shower and it just elevated my mood instantly! I love this song for its message that even from the deepest rock bottom, we are always led to what really matters.