Hello my dear reader,

This morning, day one of my period, I was already feeling moderately irritable. I went to make another cup of coffee, used my coffee bean grinder, and forgot to put the lid on.

And the coffee beans flew everywhere…

And there I was, completely flabbergasted by the mess I’d created.

I could feel tears filling my eyes, my amygdala firing, my whole system going into meltdown mode.

Something small just tipped me over.

The meltdown was not about the coffee beans making a mess.
It was about something deeper going on within me.

For me, it was a mix of hormones, yes — but also a sign of burnout.
Even in recovery, it still lives in my body.

A minute before, I was already irritated, half arguing with the hoover because it wouldn’t move the way I wanted. Then I found myself annoyed at my partner for using a different cloth for cleaning.

Right now, I’m thinking it was so silly and stupid… but in that moment they just got to my nerves tipping me over to the edge more and more.

“Dear lord… I’m crazy,” I thought in that moment.

But I’m not.
And neither are you.
And you might have your own version of a story like this.

This is human.

When you’re burned out plus for us ladies add hormonal fluctuations into the mix, your nervous system has less capacity. The smallest thing can be the moment the cup tips over.

Sometimes we can’t control our reactions.
Sometimes we snap.
Sometimes stress spills out sideways.

And yet…

The practice isn’t to be perfectly calm all the time.

It’s to notice.
To understand.
To soften, even after the reaction has happened.

It’s great when we are regulated, centred and we respond well to our partners, situations and life, but when we react, it just shows a part of ourselves need loving attention.

The coffee beans weren’t the problem.
They were the messenger.

My nervous system was asking for more care.
More space.
More rest.

So I listened.
I took myself on a long walk to breathe.

When you react, your nervous system is trying to tell you something important.
It’s an invitation to pour back into your own cup.

Next time a situation like this happens to you, gently ask yourself:
What do I need right now to soothe my nervous system?

And if you witness a loved one in a reaction like this, you might ask:
What do you need from me in this moment?

Or sometimes, and most often, a loving hug is the only thing needed to release the overwhelm.

I have done a lot of self-soothing in the past, too, when I just give myself a big embrace. So, this works solo or with someone else.

We all need soothing.
It’s not weakness. It’s part of our sensitivity as humans.
And that can be a quiet kind of strength.

This is what I remind myself, too.

Look after yourself and your nervous system this week, and let any reactions be a guide back home to yourself, to find a pathway how to give yourself the love and care you need.

With love and light,
Essi ✨

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