Dear Connected Ones,

Last week, I gave you all a personal update about me getting into a relationship and moving out of London to Milton Keynes. If you missed it, you can read it here.

I wrote about what a whole-embodied yes this move was for me. In this letter, I want to speak to you about the power of no’s.

In order for us to make space to attract whole-embodied, aligned yeses, we need to say no to things.

We’re in November now, and I always see it as No-vember: a time to reflect on what we want to lovingly release before the year ends.

Last week, we held a beautiful Samhain Circle that I co-hosted with Martyna. I shared how this final stretch of 2025, the Year of the Snake, is truly about the final release — shedding what no longer serves us so we can step into 2026, the Year of the Fire Horse, feeling lighter and open to new beginnings.

In order to gallop forward with light feet, we first need to shed our old skin — the habits, fears, or stories that have grown too tight around who we are becoming.

SO, I’VE GOT QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

What do you need to say no to in order to make space for what truly matters?
What do you feel is like this hanging thread of skin still there, not fully shaken off?

This morning, I was journaling on this and I’d recommend this as a free writing exercise and see what comes on the page.

FORCE AND FLOW AS NAVIGATORS

Linking to this topic, I’ve been having lots of conversations about force and flow — that delicate dance between pushing and allowing.

I’ve realised that when something feels forced, it’s often a sign to pause, breathe, and realign, and often underneath there is a no, not yet, or a maybe. When things flow, it’s like the Universe whispering: “yes, this way.”

Force and flow combined with your intuition are great navigators to whether something is a yes or a no.

I like to live by the statement: “If it’s not a whole-embodied yes, it’s a no.”

Saying no isn’t rejection, it’s redirection. It’s a gentle boundary that keeps us connected and creates space for what really matters.

No can be the most loving thing to decide on.

Something that has been a yes a long time, it might be it’s a no right now.

As I unpack boxes and settle into this new rhythm of life here in Milton Keynes, I’m noticing how much lighter everything feels when I allow things to flow — not forcing plans, not rushing clarity, just trusting that what’s meant for me will meet me with ease when I just allow myself to flow, for now.

Maybe this month, we can practice that together:
💭 Notice where you’re forcing things and how you can give it time and space to breathe.
💫 Answer and action where life is asking you to flow instead.
💗 And give yourself permission to say no to what drains your light.

With love and heartfulness,
Essi xx