“It feels like I’m talking to a wall sometimes.”

I got this feedback recently from someone in my inner circle, and it hit me hard.

For someone whose core skill in my professional life is to listen attentively and empathetically—and be a mirror for people to connect with themselves—you wouldn’t expect to get this kind of feedback.

“I’m a good listener!” my ego tried to convince me, without letting the sting land.

But in my heart, I felt there was truth in it.

The truth is: I am a good listener professionally, but I have not been the best listener in my personal life lately.

Why?

Because I feel so burnt out. That’s the truth. And just today I got off the phone with a doctor writing me off for burnout, for the 2nd time.

I’ve been burning the candle at both ends for two years now, ever since I first got a sick note for burnout back in October 2023 on the week of my book HEARTFUL came out.

I took about a month off after deciding to leave my secure 9–5 because it was sucking the life out of me.

When you’re somewhere you’re not aligned, it drains your energy.
That’s how we burn out.
We don’t burn out when we’re balanced and aligned.

So, I took a month off, but it wasn’t enough. Since January 2024, it has been a monthly battle of survival—figuring out how to pay for everything with a business that can be very up and down.

I have not shared this before cause there is lots of shame, but I felt called to do this today because I know there are many out there going through the same.

You’re not alone.

A year ago, I sublet my place in London. Yes, part of me wanted to travel, but more importantly, it was survival. I couldn’t keep my life going in London, so I had to leave.

They say a lot can change in a year, and it has. But almost two years later, here I am again with another burnout slip and hearing from my loved ones they feel I am spaced out often and not really listening to them… quite a wake-up call.

If I’m so lethargic and exhausted that I can’t be present and listen to the most important people in my life—what’s the point?

That’s not aligned. That’s not right.

We just had the Virgo new moon solar eclipse and the Autumn Equinox yesterday.

As we closed the chapter of summer, astrologer Kirsty Gallagher wrote: “It’s going to show you who and what you’re meant to take into this next season of your life with you, and ask you to press reset. The more you will feel all of this as your soul tries to course correct you.”

If you’ve been feeling shadows, pain, insecurities, or old wounds come up—it was the eclipse.

For me, this burnout is a pain that has resurfaced, so I can now focus on myself first and properly heal from it.

It’s quite ironic that I have a keynote confirmed at a company where I will speak about burnout, almost exactly two years after I resigned. These timings are not accidents. All is unfolding how it’s meant to.

I trust God and this life - even through the pain.

Sometimes life spits us in the face with truth—like being told such feedback I got—so we wake up to what needs to change.

We can put plasters on things with quick fixes, but sometimes it takes bigger shifts.

Sometimes, it has to get really bad before we wake up. But it doesn’t have to.

Whatever has been surfacing for you lately—face it. Look at it. Inspect it.

Ask yourself:

• If I dared to get real with myself, what has been surfacing for awhile that you might have avoided but you know needs your loving attention to heal?

• Where are you surviving versus thriving?

• What is sucking your energy?

• What is giving you energy?

• What do you need?

• What do you need to let go of to serve you first?

Some questions to sit with.
Autumn is energetically the perfect season for these questions.

This is the season of metamorphosis.

For me, the way I’ve been working—burning myself out—can’t continue. So, I need to look at it and make changes.

Let this letter be your wake-up call. What needs shifting? What needs letting go?

Do it to make space for what really matters—like being able to be present for the people you love and the life in front of you. That is where heartfulness truly lies.

Heartfully,
Essi x

JOIN ME TO WALK OR SUICIDE AWARENESS THIS SUNDAY:

👣 Walk and Talk For Suicide Awareness Month

Date: Sunday 14th Sept.
Location: Hyde Park
Time: 12pm - 3pm
Tickets: £7 or donate the amount of your choice

Each life matters. Each conversation counts. Each step we take together can help someone feel less alone.

Every month we host our women's and men's walk and talk clubs, but this month we want to come altogether as humans to walk for Suicide Prevention Month.

Join us for an afternoon of walking, talking, and honouring those affected by suicide.

Whether you're walking in memory of someone, walking for your own mental health, or simply showing up to support the cause and meet like-hearted souls — we welcome you.

This special Walk & Talk is open to all.

All tickets are donation based. All profits go to charity for suicide prevention.