Hello beautiful souls,

Last week, I wrote about the power of dark meditation that has been crucial to me in my burnout recover (read it here if you missed it). We’re gathering again tonight, and I’m really looking forward to it.

Why? Cause it is a space for me to exhale out of the stress I might carry within.

Creating spaces where we can leave behind the noise of the world — the notifications, the urgency, the overstimulation — has become my north star since my burnout.

And it’s been making me think:

We talk about burnout as if it just “happens.”

I’m finally reading Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory, and there’s a powerful chapter about stress featuring Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, author of The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience.

Dr. Aditi specialises in evidence-based stress management, and what she explains is simple — and profound.

Stress isn’t just a feeling.

It’s a physiological state in your brain.

There is good stress — the fight-or-flight survival response. We need it. It keeps us alive.

But the problem begins when fight-or-flight becomes chronic.

When your nervous system lives in survival mode 24/7.

When your body is running on fumes.

That’s when we burn out.

Let’s get biological for a moment.

According to Dr. Aditi, when we feel calm and in control, our prefrontal cortex is in charge. This part of the brain helps us plan, organise, focus, and regulate emotions.

But when stress hits, the amygdala takes over.
This is the home of the fight, flight, or freeze response.

When stress becomes chronic, the amygdala runs the show.

And it’s exhausting.

We make reactive decisions.
We lose clarity.
We struggle to think long-term.

We are meant to move back into prefrontal regulation — not stay stuck in survival.

Dr. Aditi also says that 7 out of 10 people currently live in a chronic state of stress.

That was me.

Since 2023, I wasn’t dreaming, planning, or living my life.
I was just surviving day to day.

And that led to burnout.

Understanding that stress is a brain state — not a personality flaw — changed everything for me.

Because then the question becomes:

What stressors are you allowing in?
What is actually in your control?
What is not?

Mel Robbins writes about letting go of what you can’t control — and reclaiming power over what you can.

For me, that meant I was in control of what I chose.
I chose to stay in that survival a long time.
But last September, I chose to stop working.
Seek for help and go on sick leave.
Leave London.
Allow my partner to support me.
Create real space to reset.

It didn’t happen by pushing through.

It happened by letting myself to step out.

So, I want you to do a little self-check in with stress:

Are you living in survival mode?
What’s keeping you there?
What’s actually in your control to change?
What would help you return to regulation?

What do you need to LET yourself do next to allow the possibility for you to not just survive, but thrive?

I’ll give one thing that helps: breathing and stepping away from the noise even for a moment

That’s why every space I create begins there.

We breathe.

Because when we return to the breath, survival mode softens.

And from there, clarity returns.

If you’d like to join my free dark meditation experience tonight, just reply to this email and I’ll send you the link. No catch. I simply want to share what helped me — because survival mode doesn’t have to be permanent for you either.

With love,
Essi

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