Dear Reader,

I want to tell you a story. I recently bought a pair of wellies, and little did I know they would give me a really meaningful moment.

I grew up on a farm in Finland. Roaming around fields. Being with animals. Playing outdoors underneath the blue sky and smelling the hay fields.

My body knew mud, wind, and peace. Life was simple and without much worries. I was really blessed to have a childhood like that.

And then at sixteen, I arrived in London for the first time having used my savings to join an English language course. I remember the exact feeling in my chest walking in Euston area: I am walking in the right woman’s shoes. I’m where I am meant to be.

That feeling became my North Star.

I became obsessed with learning English and moving abroad. With chasing the big dreams. With getting out of the small village and moving into big cities. Proving to myself that I could.

And I did. First to St. Louis, then LA, and finally London, where I stayed almost 7 years.

But somewhere along the way, I burned out.

Not because the dream was wrong. Not because the ambition was wrong. But because I had forgotten that expansion doesn’t only move outward. Sometimes it asks us to root deeper into ourselves.

Now I live somewhere quieter. Smaller. Slower. Away from the big city noise and close to nature.

So, I bought these wellies.

I’ve been taking walks wearing them. Mud on my boots. No rush. No performance. Just me, the air, the ground beneath my feet.

And the other day it hit me:

I feel like I’m walking in the right shoes again, with the right pace, in the right place.

Not because I’ve gone backwards.
Not because I’ve rejected ambition.
But because something in me has integrated.

The farm country girl.
The big dreamer.
The hyper-independent workaholic.
The one who moved countries.
The one who burned out, but is now trying to find a new way of working.

All of these parts of me are here.

The difference is that now, I’m listening more carefully to what feels aligned and right and really taking my time to find a way to be in this new integrated self.

In this self, who now loves to walk in her wellies, which almost feels like I am walking hand in hand with my inner child tapping into that childlike joy and giving space for joy and authenticity to lead instead of performance.

Leading from a regulated, centred space vs. over-stimulation, overwork and overwhelm. That is what is calling me now to share and guide and talk about.

Now that we are in the Lunar New Year of the Fire horse, these themes are relevant:

• tuning into what feels real and right to you and hearing when it calls you

• expressing your truth through authentic vulnerability

• taking bold action and risks to follow the call

• balancing that action with conscious rest as a strategy

• the challenge of trusting your intuition vs. being distracted by the noise around you

So, I ask you to reflect on this week how those themes are present in your life right now, and also, ask yourself:

Are the shoes you’re wearing still truly yours?
Do they truly fit?
Or are you still walking in something you outgrew?

With muddy boots and an open heart,

Essi

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